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I Hurt

July 28, 2009

Wow. I’ve failed at maintaining this. Heartily failed. My ambition was to write an entry at least every other day to chronicle the day to day life of a Colorado dude ranch. I wanted to write so that I could remember everything. Every insignificant moment that becomes so significant once I start to forget that it happened. Every inside joke. Every horse that I rode. Every time I laughed. Everything. Instead, thanks to a broken computer and sporadic internet connection, I’ve barely managed an entry or two a month. Maybe it’s better this way though. Instead of my summer being remembered as a list of individual moments, all the memories have blurred together to become a general overall feeling of contentment and happiness. I might not remember which trail I took on Tuesday morning, or which guests rode with me, but I remember that I was happy. When I look back, each day is a day full of horse sweat and sun and sage. And I guess those are the most important things.

Besides, my body is doing a lot of remembering for me. It bears all the brands of hard work. Hay is always in my hair. My hands are calloused and impregnated with permadirt. My legs bear all manner of scrapes and cuts and bruises. I’m sporting crazy calf and arm muscles. My face looks tired and happy. I’m brown and burned. Farmers tan. Random pains and muscle aches.

So happy.

Each morning I pinch myself because I did it.  I managed to achieve my childhood dream. I live on a horse ranch. Whoddathunkit?

Anyways, I promised a legitimate entry coming soon, and it’s on its way. I need to gather my thoughts on the matter first. It concerns where I’m going to make my next home once dude ranch life is over. Originally, the central coast of California was the prime choice. Everything I wanted. Except it wasn’t Colorado, and really, my heart feels at home here. But now theres the option of Fort Collins, Co. It isn’t exactly the rolling hills of California that I love so much, but it has a CSU….which means a grad school….which makes my parents happy….and gives me something to do for the next few years….and it has the academic program that I want.  Ft. Collins is the smart choice I think. I love CO. I need to go back to school. It has a literature program that focuses on nature and animals. Smart choice.

But California has parents, siblings, friends, and a small little rural cow town in the mountains that I would kill to live in.

Gah.

Going to check out Ft. Collins in the coming week to see if its a place I could live in for the next few years.

A pros and cons list will come soon.

Sorry for no pictures. One day.

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