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March 13, 2009

Leaving here will be very very hard. I can’t believe that I only have a few more weeks before I leave the place that was my beloved home over the winter. I will leave my bedroom, my kitchen, my solitude, my winter wonderland…and when I come back in May this cabin will merely be a place (albeit a wonderful place) where I just happen to sleep after work. I know that I’ll only be gone a month, but rather than getting used to all the changes organically and over time, the changes will be abrupt for me. No natural evolution. The snow will be gone, I’ll have to share the friends that I’ve been hording to myself, no more leather couch, the quiet will be replaced with voices, and only one other person here will understand what it meant to stay at the ranch over the winter. In two weeks, it’s all gone, and by the time I come back, it will all be different. No one will know about sleeping in front of the fire or getting stuck in the snow or having dinner and game nights with the owners or hanging out with the horses or making snow angels in the arena or the coziness of the couch while it snows outside or our beer can adorned Christmas tree or garlic bread and spaghetti night. That said, I am excited for summer, and I know summer can’t come until winter passes. It’s just difficult to think that life I have lived and loved for the past four months will effectively be over and I’ll never get it back.

Gosh, there’s no way for me to articulate and explain this without sounding like an overemotional and too sentimental.

I’ll really miss my room…
I should take pictures…
This has been such an experience and I rue that I didn’t record it better.
Like burning the phonebook for warmth on Christmas.
Or the fun times

I loved this winter and I’ll probably even mourn this winter.
I need to not dwell on this. I need to remember to appreciate the past, live in the present, and not obsess about the future.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. March 13, 2009 2:14 pm

    Bummer, just when I’m getting used to having you “around.” Don’t forget, you might leave the mountain, but you can’t get rid of that part of it that’s grown inside you. Sounds like you are stuck with that.

  2. goamwat permalink*
    March 13, 2009 2:27 pm

    Well, I can’t be gotten rid of that easy. I’m not leaving forever forver. Just a month. I’ll be back in May for the summer season. But THEN I’m leaving leaving. Boo. I’ll definitely be back after grad school though. I’ve gotten sucked in. Woodland Park? Cripple Creek? I’ll be back.

  3. March 14, 2009 11:12 pm

    The mountains get in you in a way that you can’t breath when you’re gone, but you manage, and then you come back. There are a lot of mountains, it’s a big beautiful world, enjoy them all.

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