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February 24, 2009

graduationcolorado-121So I’m reading this book called “Daily Coyote” by Shreve Stockton. It’s a wonderful, inspirational book with fantastic descriptions and photos that make me want to live in a rugged outpost where the area code is greater than the population. Anyways, she writes about her first time haying which triggered all sorts of internal violins to start playing and made me take a nostalgic trip down memory lane.

I miss summer.
A lot.
I love winter. I really do. The snow, stillness, and impossibly blue skies have a charm that I really do appreciate. It’s not the winter that bothers me so much but the lack of riding. California spoiled me with year round riding and this is the longest I’ve gone without being on the back of a horse. It’s starting to wear on me.
But that’s neither here nor there…haying is really what I wanted to write about.
Right now, haying is symbol of all the things good about summer. It’s riding on the back of a pickup, backcountry dirt roads, dust mixed with sweat, working hard, aching muscles, baseball caps and sleveless plaid t-shirts, needing to have a knife, heat beating down on you, hay stuck on you, appreciating the breeze against your sweaty self, falling into bed dead tired knowing you did an honest days worth of work….work that is meaningful and tangible and worth it.

At the end of the day, I love knowing that I worked hard doing something I love that actually made a difference. I might not have cured cancer or made a company a million dollars, but I made sure horses had food…which is so much more rewarding to me than sitting at a cubicle pushing numbers just so that I have something to fill the day. I’d rather do 12 hours of outside physical labor than 8 hours in an office.

When I share this sentiment with people back home, they seem almost resentful and angry. I don’t want to pull the elitist view and say they’re jealous, but there’s definitely an undertone of disapproval. I think too many people believe that sacrifice and unhappiness are a necessary component of a “successful life”. Too many people settle for ok jobs and ok apartments and ok lives because they think that “that’s just how life is”. I refuse to settle like that. I want to be happy. And people have told me before that I have a selfish, privileged view. That might be true. I do have the luxury of making a choice, and I’m going to take full advantage of that opportunity. And I feel like a lot of people try to justify their corporate lives to me by attacking me with the privileged comment….that if they too had the luxury to choose, they’d be living a life like mine. First of all, I don’t judge people for that life. I just so know it’s not for me right now. So I wish they’d stop treating me like I think I’m superior to them for doing what I’m doing. Second of all, I TOOK A RISK. I took a risk that others weren’t willing to take. I gambled a potential income and it payed off for me. So naysayers…. stop trying to detract from my happiness and personal success.


Sometimes I think I will never love anyplace or be as happy as I am here.


One Comment leave one →
  1. February 24, 2009 2:19 pm

    Brava, chica!
    xo S.

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